Line a plate with some paper towels and set aside (keep it near the stove).
Add soy sauce, mirin, and water to a small bowl and mix to combine. Set aside.
Pre-heat wok over medium-high heat.
Add bacon and cook until crisp and the fat has rendered; about ten minutes. Be sure to stir throughout to ensure even cooking.
Using a slotted spoon, move the cooked bacon to the towel-lined plate and set aside.
Remove all, but two tablespoons of bacon grease from the wok (I recommend straining the extra grease and storing it in the fridge to use as a cooking fat!)
Add onions and carrots and cook until the carrots have softened; about ten minutes.
Add garlic and saute until fragrant; about one minute.
Push the veggies to one side of the wok. Add one teaspoon light olive oil or more bacon grease to the empty side and add eggs. Let cook, untouched, for about ten seconds, then scramble with a wooden spoon until they have mostly cooked; about one minute.
Mix eggs with the veggies until well incorporated.
Add the egg noodles, cooked bacon, sauce mixture, and most of the scallions (leave some for garnish when serving).
Toss to combine.
Now, you eat!